Dear Artisan,
Okay sports fans, it’s time for an art lesson! or Seven tips for Inviting Your Inborn Creativity into Your Current Life
The crowd roared. Another touchdown for the home team, and it was time for a commercial break.
My husband was perched on the edge of his recliner. With the shifting light and color from the TV screen reflecting in his glasses, I couldn’t see his eyes and whether or not he was going to roll them.
“Honey,” I chirped as I bustled into the family room, “I have a great idea I wanna’ talk to you about.”
“Wha’?” He was still mesmerized by the tube.
“You know how I’m often making big messes on the kitchen table doing my art projects?”
“Yeah.” His glasses stayed glued on the beer commercial.
“Well, doing my art work is really important to me and I really hate having to clean it up just as I’m getting into it, and I know that the mess really annoys you.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I just take a tiny little bit of space here in the family room to set up my tiny little drafting table so I can keep my silly little projects out of the way?”
“How much will that cost?”
“Oh, not much really, hardly anything at all, actually.”
“I don’t kno-o-w. Will the TV have to move?”
Now, I don’t need to go into relationship dynamics here, but for some reason this conversation is more common in the average household than you might think; in fact it’s about as common as the discussion about who gets to drive the new car or name that puppy you just rescued from the pound. It comes up when someone who has felt too busy to “indulge” their creative juices decides that it’s finally time to act. To others around them, this represents CHANGE.
You’ve always known that you are creative. And since life is short, it’s right and good that you have a place in which you can explore this important aspect of yourself. Artists, most especially women, tend to give away their space and power to family, friends, colleagues and mentors as readily as Winter gives way to Spring.
So, what’s with everyone?
We all know that Art is an essential part of a culture, right? That self-expression is crucial to one’s well-being, right?
Why don’t those who love us provide a larger cheering section for our efforts to shine in our creative callings?
- Do they want to spare us the pain of rejection?
- Are they afraid that if we “fail” it will rub off on them?
- Are they envious?
- Are they afraid that if you change your “life as you know it” that they will have to change as well? (Which they will, to some degree.)
- All of the above and more?
The possible answers are as diverse as the members of your potential cheering section, which, by the way, is truly worth cultivating. What athlete has not run farther, jumped higher and scored more points when being enthusiastically supported? The trick is that you have to be the Head Cheerleader … let your excitement and passion for your inner vision infect everyone around you.
CHANGE is scary, often difficult for most people. “Life as we know it” is all about security, something we cherish in our fast-paced world. It’s the concept from which “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” derives.
Heads up … I’m going to do a metaphor switch on you … and just call it ‘artistic license.’
What most potential supporters don’t understand is that realizing our dreams of creative expression can be scary for us too. We’re standing on the precipice of a decision to put fertilizer on our tender plans and allow them to flower. The stem is trembly and not fully formed. Anything less than the full sunlight of joy in response to what we propose can slow it down. A single cutting remark can knock it over or even kill it. The possibility of failure looms as something to avoid at all costs rather than an opportunity to change our approach and dig in from a new angle.
WHAT TO DO?
Read through this list of suggestions and see what other solutions they inspire in you.
- Say “hello” to your fear, knowing that it has helped you to survive to this point, and knowing that it is an energy that can be re-routed and employed more productively than in chewing your nails. Channel that energy so that it assists you in forging ahead toward your goal. Feel the uncertainty sharpen your focus. If your plans feel mired in complexity, and procrastination is eating away hours of time, just know that it’s fear wearing a different mask.
- Stop thinking about all the things/people/commitments that are getting in your way. This can keep you paralyzed. How can you side-step some of them? What can you let go of?
- Cultivate patience. If you are at point ‘A’, and can clearly see point ‘Z’ on the horizon, then you are right on track. Now, slow down and take the time to strategize points ‘B’ through ‘Y’, even writing them down on paper. Heck, keep an entire notebook! Your artistic dreams deserve that much attention.
- Fertilize each tiny step. With people whom you know are truly interested, share your progress and set-backs. Allow them to offer you encouragement. If their suggestions become overwhelming and you’re in danger of disappointing them by not following their advice, simply thank them for caring, and explain that you need to do this on your own and just need a sounding board. Reward every sign of progress with things that nourish your body and soul (ie: long, hot baths, a massage, a walk in Nature, etc.)
- If space allocation requires working it out with your partner, muster your enthusiasm, pair it up with confidence, and sell the concept in a way that takes into account his or her considerations. Even if your partner knew that you were creative when you moved in together, they can still fail to understand or support your artistic temperament and its needs. Art can be a bit mysterious to those not oriented that way.
- Communicate! Reference and relate your dreams to what your partner is passionate about and don’t take “that’s different” for an answer. Show them how you both are creative in ALL areas of life, whether it’s bookkeeping, cooking, gardening, child-raising, or whatever requires creative problem-solving.
Communication tips:
- Communication is most effective if you are aware of timing and know how to set the scene ahead of time without arousing suspicious hackles. Make a date, or choose a time when you both will be relaxed and unpressured by other demands.
- Be clear and simple.
- Never, ever apologize for your creativity and its needs.
- Be prepared ahead of time with answers and solutions for as many questions and objections as you can possibly imagine. (and since you are an artist, you have a fabulous imagination!)
- Listen to and repeat back what your partner has to say. It will help them feel that their concerns have been heard and taken into account. It might well be that they can offer an insight into something for which no one else has enough information.
Here is an example of how that conversation, which opened this blog post, could have gone:
“Honey, I’m so glad we made time to chat. Do you want a warm-up on your coffee? Okay, good. You know how when you start a project out in the garage and it’s all you want to do until it’s done? Well, I’m really excited about this idea I have for setting up a space where I can do my art work without making a big mess on the kitchen table that has to be cleaned up right away. I’m finding that it’s important for my well-being to have a dedicated space and I need your help with it.”
Simple as that, or something like it.
Oh yes, I almost forgot.
Tip #7. Whenever you are asked “How’s it going?”, ALWAYS answer with “Great!” or “Awesome!” or whatever works for you … unless it isn’t going great and the person who has asked is someone you trust with your life, and whom you know is totally supportive of your vision. Then you can cry on their shoulder about what expectations haven’t been met, YET.
Take yourself seriously and everyone else will lurch along in your wake, eventually making peace with the wonderful changes you are instigating. That’s the biggest tip of this iceberg. (Metaphor switches are good for the soul! You can quote me on that.)
Yours in new beginnings,
~Terrea
“Cease to be a drudge, seek to be an artist.” ~Mary McLeod Bethune
“Most people make the mistake of continually putting off their dreams…hoping to get to them when they’re all caught up. Unfortunately, new things are always being added to our to-do list, and our dreams get crowded out of our schedule. It’s all a matter of prioritizing what you really value and then scheduling these important activities into your weekly life.” ~Jonathan Robinson, “Shortcuts to Bliss”
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